I'm currently reading the enormously popular book Atomic Habits by James Clear. So far, it reminds me of Jefferson Bethke's book "To Hell With The Hustle," where he says that formations (habits) are better than goals. James says the same thing. Habits over goals.
But how do we know which habits to establish? By starting at the end (where do I want to end up) and work backwards.
NOT "what do I want to accomplish?", but "WHO do I want to be?"
This way of looking at things has been helpful for me personally, but I realized it's just as helpful in raising/homeschooling my kids. I think it sounds something like this:
I do not want to raise consumers, though the western cultural tide they are sailing on is constantly pulling us (including their mama) in that direction. I want to raise creators, learners, hard workers, and lovers of God and people.
And the first step is on me. To throw in the anchor. To say no to buying more toys and treats. To set limits on screen time and encourage building, playing, learning, and helping. It comes at the expense of my immediate comfort some days. Comfort that our culture elevates to near god-like status.
Deep down, I don't really want to raise children whose first question in any situation is, "Is this the most convenient for my schedule, my current feelings, my comfort level, my wishes, me, me, me?" That comes natural to us from the minute we're born; there's nothing I need to work at to help both my kids and I grow out of that. All I need do is sit back and do nothing.