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I Found The Best Marriage Advice

I discovered this unpublished post languishing away in the drafty drafts of my neglected blog. And its all about how I've truly turned into the Perfect Wife and Mother.

No, I'm joking. But I think the post is worth sharing:

I keep running across Bible verses that show what a perfect spouse or parent looks like. And I wonder why I keep buying marriage and parenting books, when the Bible cuts to the chase as usual. Here’s what I read this morning:

“Who is a God like you, pardoning iniquity and passing over transgression for the remnant of his inheritance? He does not retain his anger forever, because he delights in steadfast love. He will again have compassion on us; he will tread out iniquities underfoot. You will cast all our sins into the depths of the sea. You will show faithfulness to Jacob and steadfast love to Abraham, as you have sworn to our fathers from the days of old.”

Micah 7:18-20

That last part sounds like a marriage vow to me. God swore an oath of faithfulness and steadfast love. I did the same to my husband years ago. It’s easy to stick around because of the belief in the marriage vow itself, but do I really keep that last part? The very active, very continual “steadfast love” part? God does with me. Do I “pass over” my spouse and kids’ transgressions? Not that I forget discipline and communication, but do I follow God’s example of new mercies every morning? Because that is part of faithfulness.

“The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.”

Lamentations 3:22-23

Do I “retain my anger forever”? Or do I truly delight in showing “steadfast love” to my spouse and kids? Do I think “they don’t deserve it, they are jerks and quite obnoxious,” or do I have compassion on them and “tread their iniquities underfoot” rather than tread THEM underfoot?

“You will cast all our sins into the depths of the sea.” Do I follow the example of cancel culture, reaching back into history and throwing my spouse’s sins in their face? Do I define my spouse and kids by their sin - shaming them in the place they should feel safe - or do I see sin as something to help them cast away?


Denise Hays
Denise Hays
Feb 16

Good blog! I'm still learning to be a "servant" in my interactions with my husband and my family. Thanks for this addition to your blog...enjoyed reading it!

Feb 18
Replying to

Thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed it.

It's a lifelong process right? 🙂

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